Since you’ve decided it’s time for becoming a mum, your almost perfect life turned into a wicked game of emotions. Fighting for motherhood, the very thing that happens on a whim for others, makes you feel defeated, exhausted and broken. It is SO unfair!
You can’t even remember the last time you woke up thinking of nothing else but having a baby. You live and love on the clock. Having fun, just for the sake of it, now seems like a habit from the past. You’re so busy trying to do all the right things to improve your fertility that you forget about everything else that once made your life worth living. But mostly, you forget about the human that is you, who needs your own love and care.
You’re forcing yourself to smile when you feel like crying and nod politely when you feel like punching – all the while you can't stop thinking about what if you’ll never have a child. You get through work deadlines and family gatherings all the while feeling sad, lonely and all you want to do is curl up in your bed. At night, when no one can see, you bury your grief into googling what you’re doing wrong, until you're finally able to fall asleep. In the morning, it starts all over again, every morning.......